Using NoNSA the pigeon, my friend Falafel sent me an audio tape of a meeting discussing Executive Orders that was held at the Oval Office on November 5, a day after Obama was clobbered in the mid-term elections.
How did he get it, I will never know.
Present in that meeting were Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Valerie Jarrett, Denis McDonough, and Bo, Obama’s lovely dog.
The meeting began with Barack Obama suggesting he signs one or more Executive Orders to extend his term for another 4 years past 2016.
BO: “So, I wanted to hear from you all on this subject. What is the worst that can happen?”
After two minutes of silence, Michelle spoke first.
MO: “Well darling, does that mean Air Force One would still be ours? Can you also sign some Executive Orders to take it with us?”
BO: “Yes. I am not willing to give up its men’s room so easily. It grew on me; do you know what I mean?”
VJ: “Barack, this may be unconstitutional. The question is, can you sign an Executive Order to amend the Constitution to extend your term? I will call my friend John “dancing clown” Bowtie at city hall in Chicago. He will know what to do”
She leaves the Oval Office quickly.
DM: “I think Mr. President this will afford us another four years of negotiations with Khamenei if we can pull it off”
BO: “Indeed! Good point Denis”
DM: “Also, it will provide Assad with time to decimate all his opposition as we promised Khamenei”
MO: “The question is what would Congress do with Boehner and McConnell in control? They are not going to take it sitting down”
BO: “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I am also signing two more Executive Orders to replace them with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi”
DM: “Did you discuss it with them first? They may have other plans”
BO: “Of course I did. Pelosi was ecstatic. She laid down one condition though. If they ask her, she is going to say, “I don’t know who Obama is”.
DM: “And Reid?”
BO: “Reid was as ecstatic, he was going to call McConnell right away and rub it in his face. I stopped him”
MO: “How exciting, another four years of free partying and free traveling. Also, we will stick it to Hillary, won’t we Barack?”
Jarrett barges in with a big smile on her face.
VJ: “Barack, I just finished talking to John “dancing clown” Bowtie and he told me that the way to do it is to sign nine more Executive Orders to replace all the Supreme Court Justices with his own people who will uphold the Executive Orders should any one challenge you.”
BO: “Are his people qualified?”
VJ: “Of course, they are all community organizers”
BO: “Great. Now one last problem. How do we sell it to the stupid American people?”
Some silence. Denis speaks.
DM: “I got it Mr. President. After a long garden walk with you, you will announce that you are placing a Red Line on yourself”
BO: “Red Line on myself? Would that not be counterproductive?
DM: “Not if the media questions the validity of the Red Line as opposed to the Executive Orders thus facilitating the process. Stupid Americans would swallow it hook, line, and sinker. Just like ObamaCare”
BO: “Genius. Have one plus two plus nine Executive Orders ready Denis. That’s 14, right?”
DM: “I think it is thirteen Mr. President”
BO: “Bring the Executive Orders for me to sign by the 18th hole in 2 hours. Off I go folks”.
The meeting adjourned after Bo barked three times.