Falafel told himself MbS is of no consequence. The man would be gone with Donald Trump when he either loses the next elections, or leaves office in January of 2025. Nonetheless, Falafel Interviews Mohammad bin Salman.
Falafel knew he cannot be remiss in his duties. The world must meet Mohammad bin Salman like never before. So, he called the Saudi Embassy in Washington D.C. to seek a visa for a trip to Saudi Arabia.
The embassy told Falafel MbS happens to be in DC on a secret mission. He is welcome to interview him, but not to say it happened in DC. Falafel thanked the new Saudi Ambassador Reema bint Bandar bin Sultan bin Abdul Aziz for her trust.
FALAFEL INTERVIEWS MOHAMMAD BIN SALMAN
When Falafel sat facing MbS and saw his creepy smile, he almost canceled the interview.
Falafel: Your Majesty..
MbS: I am not the king yet. Hopefully my father dies soon, so Bee-ithn Ellah (God willing).
Falafel: Your Highness, can you tell me what are you doing on a secret mission in Washington?
MbS: I am here to meet President Trump.
Falafel: Can you share the reason?
MbS: I think the President should start calling the US Senate fake too.
Falafel: Your government beheaded 37 people lately. Three of them are accused of no more than protesting. You imprisoned them when they were mere children. Isn’t that over the top?
MbS now looks bemused.
MbS: All terrorists. Terrorists when they eat, terrorists when they study, and terrorists when they sleep. Terrorists, terrorists, terrorists.
THE FUTURE OF SAUDI ARABIA
Falafel: You have big plans for the future of Saudi Arabia that includes big money, big investors, and a big vision. Who will implement that vision?
MbS: Me, of course.
Falafel: What is going to be the role of the Saudi people?
MbS: Immense. We are going to mobilize every tribe and every herdsman in the country to become an expert in Artificial Intelligence. We estimate about 150 years to reach a competitive mass.
Falafel: How are you going to recruit so many Saudis?
MbS: We are going to ask them to stop by the Ministry of Interior. They will face two doors. One they can enter to volunteer, the other one would lead them into my very own and unique museum of bone saws. The best collection in the world.
Falafel: And what about the women of Saudi Arabia.
MbS: No women.
Falafel: What do you mean?
MbS: We cannot afford to turn our women into artificial intelligence experts. You might as well kiss our goaties goodbye. They would rule us in ten minutes flat.
Falafel: But you touted yourself as a champion for women?
MbS: Don’t misunderstand me. I love women. I intend to marry at least a hundred of them. So, yes I am their champion.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER?
Falafel: How do you feel about sharing one thing in common with the President?
MbS: What’s that?
Falafel: Both your mothers hate you.
MbS: His mother hated him more. He told me the first time we met.
Falafel: Is it true you had your mother arrested because she was trying to meet the king to persuade him not to select you as his heir?
MbS: That witch thinks I’m no good. She deserves to rot in jail.
PEOPLE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YET
Falafel: The media in America does not mention you without mentioning you ordering the murder and dismemberment of Jamal Khashoggi. How do you feel about that?
MbS: All lies. Jamal Khashoggi committed suicide at our consulate.
Falafel: But your government admitted it killed him.
MbS: That was a joke.
Falafel: A joke?
MbS: Yes, a joke. Just like when your president asked Russia to find the missing 33,000 emails Hillary wiped clean from her server. That was a joke too. Why his joke is good, and mine is not?
Falafel: Where are you headed next?
MbS: I am going to take a retreat on Necker island.
Falafel: But Richard Bronson has not been kind to you publicly. Why Necker?
MbS: Can you keep a secret?
Falafel: Of course.
MbS: I want to buy it, then destroy it right before his eyes.
Falafel: What makes you think he would sell it?
MbS: I am taking with me my collection of bone saws.
Ladies and gentlemen, you just met the new face of Arab leaders. This one happens to be only 33 years old. Just imagine for a moment the legacy he would leave behind when he passes on some fifty years later.
Thank you Donald Trump for protecting a total imbecile.